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Search Blog: Recent Posts Cracking the Code on Nine Phrases that Women Use Exposing the truth on Mr. Hairless Laughing brings hope and healing… Urban Legend….George Garcia more than paper and ink Archives Select Month February 2011 January 2011 RSS FEEDS   Subscribe to Blog Fuse Ministry Bill Heydorn

Cracking the Code on Nine Phrases that Women Use Posted February 9th, 2011 by Bill No Comments |  Communication is the process by which we convey meaning at an attempt to create a shared understanding.    The steps to make this happen are too often skipped resulting in frustration.   The words below are a pathway to help us understand quickly what our spouse is trying to say to us.   These were taken from an email I received today.   I am confident you will find them overflowing with wisdom.  Cracking the code on nine phrases that women use! 1. “FINE” : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right.  You should respond by being silent. 2. “FIVE MINUTES” : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3. “NOTHING” : This is the calm before the storm.  This means something much more than nothing.  You should be alert and on your toes at this point.  Arguments that begin with NOTHING usually end in FINE (see word 1). 4. “GO AHEAD” : This is a dare and not permission.  Don’t do it. 5.  “LOUD SIGH” : This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.  A LOUD SIGH means she things you are not to bright and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.  (Refer to #3 for the meaning of NOTHING) 6.  “THAT’S OKAY” : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make. THAT’S OKAY means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7.  “THANKS” : A woman is thanking you, please do not question her.  Just say “You’re welcome”.  (WARNING:  If she adds a “a lot” at the end of the thanks…this is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  Do not say “you’re welcome”.  That will bring on a ‘whatever’ (see #8)) 8.  “WHATEVER” : Is simply a way of saying she is done.  Well done.  Do not attempt to explain yourself at this point.  Explaining yourself may cause serious consequences. 9.  “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I’LL DO IT” :  Another dangerous statement.  This is something a woman says when she has told a man to do something several times but forgets.  This will later result in a man asking ‘what’s wrong?’ which the woman will respond  with a #3. And now may you enjoy deeper and richer communication with your spouse! Tweet This Post |  Subscribe to Blog | Email a Friend Exposing the truth on Mr. Hairless Posted February 3rd, 2011 by Bill 2 Comments |  I have been accused of something terrible.  I have been judged, convicted and sentenced with criticism as a man who shaves his arms.  Like a bald monkey thats been dipped in butter.   Ladies and gentlemen I have been falsely accused.  Yes, my accusers sit from afar as they watch me on stage from their lowly seats of insignificance.  They sneer, they jeer, they taunt, they laugh, and they claim I shave.  Then they send out pictures mocking this masculine, noble, and impressive creation.  Well, I am proud of my smooth surfaced skin.  Unlike some who could pass as the missing link,  where there is no distinction between animal and man.  The truth is this…   I don’t have a lot of hair.  I never did.  I was awarded (because it was beyond my control and a gift from God) my first armpit hair when I was 18.  YES…18.  (I hated going to the beach because of my baldy pits.) There you go.  The truth is out.  I don’t shave.  I was manufactured with this option.  At the least  I don’t need to buy liquid plumber to unclog the the bathtub drain. Tweet This Post |  Subscribe to Blog | Email a Friend Laughing brings hope and healing… Posted January 31st, 2011 by Bill No Comments |  On Saturday night I had the opportunity to perform a short comedy routine at the Royal Family Kids Camp (RFKC) fund raiser.  I was so blessed to work alongside such amazing performers (Nazareth, Robert G Lee, Michael Rayner).  My slot was to be the guy that made everyone else look even better!  And I did my job well!    There were a lot of laughs…and some tears as well.  Those tears came when Founder Wayne Tesch shared why RFKC exists.  Do you realize that over 3.6 million cases of neglect, abandonment, and abuse are reported in America every year?  The horror that some children endure is heart wrenching.  But there is hope and help for these kids.  RFKC exists to create positive memories for these children in an amazing one-week camp experience.   RFKC works with churches like Crossroads and other organizations to make this happen.  Mark 10:14 – He said to them ” Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” My 7 minute comedy routine may have got a few laughs…but what’s more important to me is that I was able to be an active part of such an awesome organization.  Thanks to all of you who came out that night to change the life of a child.  Your love and support don’t go unnoticed.  For more information or to support RFKC please click on this link:  http://www.rfkc.org/site/c.ikIPL8MWJxE/b.3882189/k.BF9A/Home.htm Tweet This Post |  Subscribe to Blog | Email a Friend Urban Legend….George Garcia Posted January 26th, 2011 by Bill 2 Comments |  At Fuse we have a legend in our midst.  His name is George Garcia.   George actually brought an end to the cold war with his Jackson-ess dance moves.  He brought peace to our world through break dancing.  The tools of his trade are a slice of cardboard heaven and a boom box, which is the recipe for the birth of the apocalypse.       Here’s to you George Garcia.  The man, the myth and the legend.  We are proud to have a celebrity such as you in FUSE.  Raquel must be very lucky to have married a man such as yourself.  Actually, I think we are all a little bit lucky. Tweet This Post |  Subscribe to Blog | Email a Friend more than paper and ink Posted January 25th, 2011 by Bill 2 Comments |  I have a stack of connection cards from FUSE last Wednesday sitting on my desk.  Each one of the cards represents a couple that showed up to FUSE for the first time.  The cards represent relationships.   A relationship that is learning.  A relationship that is hurting.  A relationship that is healing.  A relationship that is rejoicing.  A new relationship.  An experienced relationship.  A rejuvenated relationship.   Those cards are more than paper and ink.  They represent people–awesome people.  I pray for each one of them.     I am blown away at what it takes for couples to show up to FUSE on a Wednesday night.  Really!  Trying to get home from work.  Call my spouse and make sure we are on track.  Fight the 91. Try to connect with my spouse before we head out to door.  Meet my spouse at church because the 91 is backed up.  Get dinner before FUSE.  Get the kids fed.  Get the kids ready.  Get the kids in the car.  Get the kids to get out of the car.  Get the kids to listen and not run off as they are checked in to the awesome kids ministry.  Try not to lose patience and go crazy…..you get the point.   More often than not couples come to FUSE a little stressed, tired and heavy.   And yet as the night goes on there is laughter everywhere, awareness that we are not the only ones,  encouragement to keep going,  and a new found strength.    Everyone seems to leave a little lighter.  It actually matters that you are there.  It’s not just for you though… what about that couple that is going through what you went through?   I think its worth the battle to get there.   FUSE is a breath of fresh air for you and your spouse.  So breathe. 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